my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
