I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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