I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
4 words: hood of his car
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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