Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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