escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
