is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
