She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
