I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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