Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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