I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
