If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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