Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize