? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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