He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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