we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
