Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
