I bet he comes in French.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
