It's Friday. Sex?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The air was thick with penises
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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