So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
