people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
