we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
