Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
