We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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