Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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