I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize