I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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