Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
