I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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