he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize