My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
