Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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