Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
