I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Randomize
