I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize