His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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