it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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