I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
