i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
