For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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