Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
