Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
