I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
