he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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