Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
