I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
