So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
