ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize