Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
