doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
