Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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