just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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