awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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