Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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