Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize