I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I want her autograph on my taint
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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