Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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