Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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